That seems to be the theme for the last 5 days of my life. (I hope you sang the title like I meant for you to)
Here’s a list of things that have changed or have been unexpected…
- I have a class that I should have taken 2 years ago that will no longer fit into my schedule
- My boyfriend is returning from Peru a year early
- Christmas Vacation (for people who know me well, you know what I mean)
- My Pastor at the church I intern at resigned
- (I know there was something else but I can’t remember it)
I am beat down but not destroyed. Although I sure feel like it.
In 5 days, the next year of my life has changed drastically. I had planned for my boyfriend to be gone, to be on track with my classes, and to work with the same Pastor. But God must have a different something in mind. This is what I have to lean on. This is what’s keeping me going through the tears and anger.
These past 5 days I have been angry with my friends, angry with my family, angry with my boyfriend, and even angry with God. …just in time for finals week.
But I shouldn’t have been.
The other day I was nagging my roommate about how she has a schedule every day of everything she needs to do. She gets so extensive with her schedules that she even has “snack time” listed and will NOT waver. If she gets a few hours behind, she just adjusts her schedule a few hours.
I was picking and making fun of her and trying to give her a “Come to Jesus” talk. I jokingly said ” When you plan out your whole life, you aren’t letting God be in control.” To which she replied “Yeah, God laughs at man’s plans” and then I said “That means God is laughing at you 24/7!”
Crud. Now I’m getting laughed at. I had planned the whole next year of my life out, and in 5 days, God said “Nope. Nada. Nah!” To all of them. I took complete charge of the next year and forgot to let God guide me. I pulled a “Ronna”.
Now, I don’t believe that God has one direct set plan for my life- if that were true, straying from that plan would be sin because it is not what God wants for me. But I do believe that God has placed a purpose in my life.
I spent the last 15 months planning this upcoming year, which must obviously not be part of the what I thought my purpose was.
If I make my own plans, I shouldn’t be disappointed when they don’t work out.
I have to keep reminding myself that God has a perfect purpose. And that there is a purpose to what has just happened. Being still and waiting is not easy for me, but I’m going to try.
I know this blog hasn’t been nearly as deep and theological as my previous ones, but this is what God has been doing in my life the last week.